Your Business Is Not a Vampire…How To Slay Your Unhealthy Obsession With Success.

Wake up, stretch, quick yawn, grab phone.

Check emails, check Facebook engagement and interactions, check Instagram comments and new followers, check blog comments and views, check YouTube channel views.

Squeeze breakfast and a shower in somewhere…

Or…this could be…Check Amazon/Ebay account, check daily sales, customer messages, etc.

Regardless of your industry or business, obsession is something that has the power to affect all of us entrepreneurs.

Want to know why?

This is because we are constantly putting out fires. We spend our days and nights engaging and communicating, checking and finalising.

We wake up in the morning, and our mind jumps straight to our business, and what our clients in different timezones might have posted during the night.

We try to prevent problems before they happen, but we’re also first on site to deal with them when they inevitably do come up. We are the first and last port of call in all situations.

We are everywhere, and anywhere we need to be.

And we are so often exhausted, and emotionally drained.

But at least our business is a success, right?


More and more of us are falling into the Obsessive Entrepreneur Trap, something which is annihilating our ability to exist as real people, and actually ruining our businesses, slowly but surely.

We are consumed by the success of our business, as if this success determines our own value as a person.

Let’s take a side-step here, and think back to when you were at school…

Do you remember a time when you were trying really hard to study for an exam or test, but you were upset or angry about something?

Do you recall how difficult it was to concentrate and focus, and to get whatever it was that you were trying to learn into your head?

You felt like your head was going to explode, and every time you tried to write down something or repeat it back, your brain was just giving you back a whole lot of nothing…

Now, imagine trying to run a business with all of those feelings, frustrations, and distractions going on in your head…Impossible, right?

But that’s what a lot of us are doing! It’s insane…

We become irritated and agitated. We are preoccupied ALL of the time, and can’t hold a conversation sometimes without getting distracted. We snap at people around us, and the worst part is, we don’t even notice most of the time.

We have become robots on auto-pilot, and we are so naive that we believe we can keep this up forever, and that these unhealthy behavioural patterns will simply disappear when we’ve truly “made it”.

What may have started out as a healthy drive to succeed, reach our goals and prove everyone around us that we could actually do this, has now turned into an unhealthy obsession which can actually push us towards failure, instead of success.

A lot of entrepreneurs spend time googling things like “How to be more productive”, “How to get more done during the day”,  and “How to be successful quickly”.

We are focused on speed, but never sustainability, when we need to become focused on sustainability, and not just speed.

We should spend this time on the internet finding ways to be successful and sane. To be fulfilled and achieve balance in our lives, so we can actually live.

We don’t search for “how to work seven days a week, and never see my family“, but this is what the obsessed entrepreneur does. Is this you? If so, then keep reading.

Most entrepreneurs will say they work towards success to provide for themselves and their families, to achieve financial freedom.

But if every thought you have revolves around how to make more money, or cram more into your day, then what’s the point? What is it all for if you can never enjoy it?

Don’t neglect your health and those you love for your business, because you want them to be there to share it with you when you achieve it. You want to be able to enjoy your success, don’t you?

I’m sure by now you have decided that you do not want to be a victim of the Obsessive Entrepreneur Trap…

So here’s my four-step process to combat it…

  • When you reach a goal, take some time to celebrate what you have achieved before moving on to the next goal.
  • Spend some regular uninterrupted, technology free time with your family/friends, ideally outside in the fresh air!
  • Speak to someone about what’s going on for you at the moment – this doesn’t have to be a business friend. In fact, sometimes it’s better if it’s not, as it reduces the temptation to just talk about business.
  • Journal – try to figure out the real source of your agitation, anxiety and obsession. Are you afraid of failing, being judged, or being broke? What is it that makes you believe you can’t be successful without running yourself into the ground? Then you have something to work on, so get to work addressing this.

I’ve talked before about how manifesting and visualisation (see can help you to work towards where you want to be in your life. So, use this to allow the frustrations and disappointments to turn into drive and enthusiasm.

Even just knowing within you that things will work out can create a healthier outlook on your business and life.

You will come to understand that even if you don’t spend 23 hours a day working, you will still be successful. You just have to show up when it happens and take steps every day to get there.

But, a step could be taking a day off to re-group, relax and enjoy yourself. This is the part we often leave out and forget.

A good business can’t be created without work, but it must be done in a way which is sustainable, so that you can actually reap the benefits of your work, rather than burning out in the process, and spending your hard-earned money and time trying to get back to who you were before you started your business.

Enjoy your business, and remember to enjoy your life in the process.


How You Can Bypass the Fear of the Unknown and Learn to Enjoy Uncertainty Without Catastrophizing.

Do you have love sharing your story but fear people have heard it too many times and are bored? Do you get excited at a new concept you’ve come up with but put it on the back-burner because you’re not sure how to make it a success?

This is one of those things that every entrepreneur will face, pretty much on a regular basis. I’d like to share with you guys my own experience, and how I deal with these situations now as a result of what I have learned from years of studying failure.

Let’s set the scene…

A while back, I had just done a photoshoot for images for my new website. I was so excited with how they turned out. They were really natural, and I felt they summed me up pretty well!

I’m one of those people who always has to share the things I’m excited about, and so I sent my photos to my family and a couple of friends for their thoughts. I couldn’t wait to hear what they had to say!

Radio silence.

So I sat and waited…

And waited…

And waited some more…

My phone eventually rang. It was one of my friends to tell me how much they loved the photos and couldn’t wait to see more, and how proud they were of me.

Awesome, right? Wrong.

At this point, I had already created at least ten different reasons that no one had replied. Let’s list a few here, shall we?

  1. They hated them.
  2. They thought they were too cheesy.
  3. They really weren’t as excited by them as I was.
  4. They didn’t really care about my new website.
  5. They didn’t really care about my business in general.

On the left was where I was, and on the right was where I should have been.

Photo Credit: PD4PIC CLIPART.

You get the picture. So when my friend gave me this amazing compliment, I didn’t even hear it. It never made it through the negativity barrier. While it sounds a bit crazy that my brain went straight to this place, this is what we naturally do as humans. Just not every one will admit it!

It might be on a much greater or smaller scale – You might have finished the presentation of your career and there’s a moment where people don’t applaud leaving you unsure whether they loved it or hated it…oryou might have cooked a beautiful meal for your relatives from out of town, and no one has said it tastes good, yet.

The point is, life is filled with these moments of uncertainty. Where we just have to wait and see. It’s not always easy to do this, and the story above is an example of when my brain really struggled with just chilling out and embracing the uncertainty.

So what do I do now with my (complete Bulls**t) Negativity Barrier?

There are many different strategies for dealing with uncertainty and the negative thought patterns that creep in. I’m not going to share them all with you now, but the concept below will change your view of uncertainty completely, if you truly take it on board and implement it in your own life and business.

Focus on the Predictable.

When we engage in a pattern of negative thinking, we begin to catastrophize, or view the situation in a way that is far worse than it actually is.

Your brain will always go to that place of worst-case scenario if you let it, so focusing on the predictable aspects of the situation is one way to remedy this.

Whenever you experience something, your brain tucks this experience neatly away in the form of “schema”. So for example, if you get attacked by a wild boar in the woods (and live to tell the tale), your brain will store this experience away as one you wouldn’t want to repeat in the near future.

Then, when something similar happens, like you meet another wild boar in a different part of the woods (unlucky…), your brain will automatically tell you that this is not a good place to be and that you should run!

This is seriously useful, and keeps you safe and out of harm’s way in dangerous situations. However, your brain can create schema which do not serve you. There are several types of schema, but event schemas in particular occur when predictions are made about how a situation will turn out.

So if you had one bad public speaking experience, your brain may create a schema to predict the outcome of future public speaking experiences, resulting in the crippling fear of uncertainty about how successful your presentation will be.

The main way you can use schemas to your advantage is just by being aware of them and of the processes at work in your brain.


Photo Credit:

So, going back to focusing on the predictable. You’ve delivered a sales pitch 1,000 times about your business, what exactly you do, and how your system or product works. It’s really, really effective and inspiring.

Now, let’s throw a really awful day into the mix, where your sales pitch is awful, no one buys, and you go home feeling a bit miserable.

You now know that your brain is busy at work filling in the blanks and catastrophizing, creating a self schema which says you’re a terrible public speaker and an event schema which predicts that every future pitch will be awful too.

But, armed with this knowledge, you can see this process at work, and you can change it. If the last 999 attempts were pretty excellent, you’re more than likely going to return to this high standard, regardless of one bad day.

It is your mindset that stops you from achieving excellent results again, as you accept the self schema and event schema of inadequacy and fear.

So, focus on the 999 positive aspects of your story, and the fact that these are a far more predictable outcome than the one negative aspect. This will completely unlock your potential, allowing you to remain cool and collected if things don’t go to plan, because this is your 1 in 999, and that’s okay!

Even computers make errors, so it’s pretty acceptable for you to have some here and there!

To go back to my photoshoot once more, I let the uncertainty get to me, and immediately went to worst-case scenario. Now, I only work with what I know, and this allows me to embrace the uncertainty and be confident in my own position.

If I mess up, if you mess up, that’s great. We can just return to what we know, which is being awesome at what we do and not let one event dictate our future performance! So don’t let your fear of the unknown hold you back – always move forwards and if you do one thing, remember to only focus on the positive and predictable aspects of the situation.

If this is something you love and are good at, do not let one moment of uncertainty or fear drag you down. Uncertainty teaches you to possess confidence in yourself, and being an entrepreneur is full of situations where you won’t always know the outcome, so it’s a great place to learn.

I hope this resonates with you, and I would love to hear your uncertainty stories and how you overcame them!

As always, you can get involved in the Free Facebook Group that I created for The Mindstein System (, and begin your move towards fulfilment today.

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